Happy 3rd Birthday Evelyn!

My baby turned three the other day.  It's absolutely unbelievable to me that it has been three years since my spunky little girl was born.  Each day I am amazed by the person she is becoming.

I distinctly remember that when she turned one I thought there was going to be this magical change.  As if turning one were like flipping a switch between being a baby and being a little person.  Things would be easier.  She would understand what I was trying to tell her.  We would start to do things together, not just me doing things for her.  Well naturally I was very mistaken for quite a while.  Obviously her development continued to be gradual.  I kind of had the same notion of what it meant to turn two, and once again there was no instant change.

As we approached three I didn't have the same expectation.  I knew there would be no sudden change.  But a few weeks ago I did start to notice some changes in Evelyn.  All of a sudden she has been able to do things for herself.  She can put on her coat by herself.  She can play independently for ten minutes.  She pretends, and in a way that is totally adorable.  She is a brand new little person.  And her memory...oh my gosh.  She remembers everything.  And that little girl knows exactly what she wants.

But I think the very best part is how aware she is about everything that is going on.  She knows that Christmas is coming up.  She knows what her birthday means.  It was her special day.  Her favorite people were all together in one place and it was ALL. ABOUT. HER!  And I think my very favorite part was the look on her face when everyone was standing around, singing happy birthday to her, and watching her blow out her candles.  The look on her face was just absolutely priceless.  The pictures don't do it justice...

My Christmas List

It's that time of year when people start asking what you want for Christmas.  So, for anyone looking to get me (or probably any other mom) a gift, here is my Christmas list.  In no particular order...

1. I would love to go an hour without having to ask "What did you do to your sister?"

2. It would be incredible to be able to be completely alone in the bathroom for the entire time I am getting ready.  From brushing my teeth to drying my hair, I want to be completely alone.  And bonus if I have the luxury to take my time.

3. I want to clean the kitchen (I'm not even asking someone else to do it for me!) and have it still be clean when I turn around.  Where do the dishes come from???  No matter what I do, there is another dish lurking somewhere, just waiting for the right moment to show its dirty, ugly face.

4. I would like to do something seasonal as a family.  And I don't want to have to wait in line, worry about tickets ahead of time, fight for parking, etc.  Just get up and go.  And it would be great if I could get a family picture at this outing.  One where we look put together, without TRYING to look put together.  "Oh look...we just happened to all be wearing seasonal colors at the same time!!"

5. And after this wonderful, quality, family time, I would love an hour alone.  With a cup of HOT coffee.  That I didn't have to reheat.

So that's it.  Just 5 little things that would make me super happy for Christmas.

Bad Mom

Started this a few weeks ago, but let's just pretend it was this week.  I need to preface this post by saying I am not looking to be consoled.  I don't want to hear that I'm doing fine.  Because to be honest, that will probably make me feel worse about how I acted.  

On Monday I was not a good mom.  Not that I consider myself a great mom on any given day, but most days I would call myself at least a good mom.  Monday was not one of those days.

Allow me to set the scene:

We had a great day Saturday.  We went to visit my brother who lives near Reading, got some lunch, went to a corn maze.  Evelyn was a little out of sorts because she was a bit uncomfortable not having pooped since Thursday morning (for those of you who have been around this blog for a while, haven't you missed the posts about poop???).  By Sunday, though, things were pretty rough at the Lane house.  Both girls had had really bad sleep nights between the lack of poop and teeth.

When Sunday evening rolled around, poor Evelyn was a hot little mess.  It was just painful to watch her hunch over.  We had given her prune juice, lots of fruit, and anything we could find with a lot of fiber.  We had dinner at my parents' and it was a sight to see because we were all doing everything we could to try to get her to poop.  We were making up these ridiculous dances trying to get her to push things down.  And finally before bed she pooped twice.

Monday morning she pooped again...and I mean pooped!  Things were good.  She seemed to be back to normal.  Apparently she wasn't done though, because she went three more times at school.  And this mom of the year forgot the extra diapers on the counter.  Ugh.  When I picked her up I grabbed the few out of the diaper bag and left them in case I forgot again.

When we got home we had lunch and I put both girls down for a nap and hopped in the shower.  When I got up, Evelyn had decided to crawl into the crib and play with her sister.  Back to their respected beds, and things got quiet for 20 minutes.  Vivian started fussing and the next thing I knew Evelyn was slamming open her door and running in to see her sister.  Naps were not going to happen.
 
The problem is that if a nap doesn't happen, Evelyn is a hot mess.  I kept trying to get her interested in things to do, but she was just being a pill.  Let's make an octopus (I had been on Pinterest the night before...)!  Got out the paint...that lasted 3 minutes.  Let's find letters on the magnet board!  NO!  Let's pretend to be animals!  Hop like a kangaroo!  NO!  Let's read a book!  Princesses!  NO!  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?!?!?!?!  I was so mad at myself that we have been implementing a "TV Turnoff" right now because the watching has just been getting a little out of hand.  All I wanted was to put in a movie and be done with it.  

And with every game I tried to get her interested in that she just brushed aside I got more mad that she wouldn't just take a nap because obviously she needed one.  I was exhausted, she was exhausted, Vivian was exhausted, but no one was napping.  And then she was whining and yelling, so I started whining and yelling.  I was doing everything that I know I shouldn't do.

And I was watching the clock because at about 4:00 my in-laws were due to arrive.  Mommom and Poppop would fix this.  And that was almost equally frustrating because the minute they walked in the door, she would be a different child.  And she was.

She was a lovely child for Mommom, and then was even relatively normal when we went to get dinner.  And I just fumed on the inside because of the little pain in the butt she had been for me all afternoon and for the bad mom I had been in trying to deal with it.

Then she pooped again.  And I reached into the diaper bag...for the diapers that weren't there anymore.  UUUUUUGGGHHH.  It was at that moment that I washed my hands of the day.

And you know, for every day that is a mom fail, there is a mom win because the next morning Evelyn woke up and wanted to finish the octopus I had tried to get her to make with me, and we did.  And it was adorable.  And then she ripped it apart before I could take a picture.

Crying it Out

Last weekend was my sister's wedding.  And I heard from quite a few people how much they love reading about our adventures.  This I know was a really nice way of saying, start writing again you slacker!  Okay, I am sure no one thought slacker.  But it's kind of how I feel seeing as I just looked and my last post was in JULY!

A lot has happened since July.  One of the biggest, and worst, things that has happened is that my baby went from a sleeps through the night baby to a doesn't ever sleep baby.  And the only thing worse than a baby that doesn't sleep, is a baby who USED to sleep.  Maybe it was a growth spurt, maybe it was switching to sleeping in the crib, but whatever the cause, we don't sleep anymore.

At Vivian's 6 month appointment, which was exactly a month ago, the doctor basically said there was no reason for her to still be waking up every 3 hours and it was time to get tough.  We went through a "cry it out" phase with Evelyn, so I wasn't opposed to the idea.  I had been planning it myself, just hadn't really put it into effect.

So I made a plan.  That weekend we would implement cry it out.  Steve and Evelyn were both going to be away (maintaining their sleep was one of the main reasons I ran every time I heard a cry).  It was just Vivian and me.  Mommy and baby.  It was on.

I caved.  There is just something about hearing a baby cry in the middle of the night that is just impossible to ignore.

Steve got home, I got amped up to try it again.  20 minutes of crying it out.  Screaming...not just whining.  There was a problem.  The problem was a growth spurt.  When I finally went in there she ate like she had never eaten before.  And again 3 hours later.  And this went on for a few nights.  When I was finally sure that the growth spurt was over, I geared up for crying it out take two.  A night or so into round two...Vivian came down with her first cold.  I couldn't very well let her cry it out when she was already completely congested, so there we were up again every three house.  About two weeks into the "cry it out" fight, and Mommy was losing big time.

Cold cleared up.  Round three was going to be a Mommy win.  It had to be.  But suddenly instead of up every 3-4 hours, we had a night that we were barely getting 2-3.  I was beside myself.  Then I reached into her mouth the next morning (which happened to be wedding day) to pull out something she stuck in there and felt...a tooth!  I mean, come on!  Growth spurt, cold, now teeth???  This kid was using every trick in the book!

She cut two teeth that weekend, and I was thinking that was it.  It was time for a breakthrough with the sleeping.  And I was right.  She slept for 5-6 hours for the next two nights.  The only problem was that apparently she pulled her big sister into her little game, and Evelyn was up every 3-4 hours for the next few nights.

At this point, it's been a month and there is no real progress.  Last night I geared back up again for a round of crying it out.  2:00 rolled around and she started crying, then screaming.  What could she possibly need?  What could she throw at us that she hasn't pulled yet??  Poop.  A nice two am poop.  The kind that requires a complete jammie change.  And for some reason there were no wipes in her room.  The extra packs are all in Evelyn's room (why...WHY???).  

And that brings us to today.  I have no strength.  One of these days Mommy has to get a win in, right??

The Cow, take 2

As some of you may remember, when it comes to breastfeeding I compared myself to a cow when I was breastfeeding Evelyn.  It should come as no surprise that as far as feeding Vivian, I'm still cow-like.  It's a little sick actually because it has come to the point where when I send my family an adorable video of Vivian being all cute and smiley, the response I get from my sister and mother is this:

 

I'm not nearly as crazy about pumping this time, especially considering Vivian will not be going to daycare anytime soon.  No need to make sure we have a huge stockpile of milk.  I've just been pumping once in the morning, mostly because when Vivian was first born she struggled so much with how quickly the milk came out.  Pumping in the morning helped slow down the milk flow and allowed her to feed at a pace that was more comfortable for her.  It also helped make feeding a little less stressful for me because the gagging and choking was just really scary.  Pumping is still a pain in the butt, though.  I still feel like something of a mad scientist as I combine milk from various days to make full bottles for freezing.  I also think I may have gone just a little crazy a while back when I decided to start documenting different milestones and events on the milk bags: 

 

 

Because Vivian struggled with feeding a little due to getting so much milk, I was kind of nervous to introduce her to the bottle.  I figured she would like the bottle more because the flow of milk was a little slower and she could control it more.  But the desire to be able to get out of the house without the baby outweighed the fear of her preferring the bottle, and at a month old we decided to give it a shot.  As it turned out, my fears couldn't have been farther from reality.  She absolutely refused the bottle.  When we gave Evelyn her first bottle she took it like a champ, and I guess we were expecting the same thing.  What we got were huge baby meltdowns from a baby that is generally the most laid back, easy going little thing.  The only person she seemed to care to take a bottle from was me, which defeated the purpose of the bottle to begin with.  Awesome. 

I became convinced for quite a while that I would now have a freezer full of milk that she would never use.  The milk would just sit there for ever and I would never be able to leave the house without my child.  My infant has been to four bridal showers with me already in her short life because I couldn't leave her at home.  That's more than I had been to by the time I was 25.  Even though I was never going to be able to use the milk I had been working so hard to pump, I still dreaded the thought of losing it when we lost power during a crazy thunderstorm.  I packed that stuff up in cooler bags and drove myself over to my parents' house at 10:00 at night to make use of their generator.  (Also, the quickest way to get the power back was to take the milk somewhere it would be safe I figured.)

Luckily, after a few weeks of some serious work, Vivian is finally taking a bottle.  We have about a week's worth of milk stored in the freezer, which is about all our freezer can hold.  I can leave the house finally without worrying that my baby is starving, and I've been able to make trips to the gym, grocery store, and doctor's appointments without baby. Oh, and Steve and I have been able to get out a few times, too...
 

Seasons come, and seasons go...

As usual in Southeastern Pennsylvania, the seasons have changed.  We went from winter to pollen to summer in a matter of a few weeks.  The changing of seasons means changing the wardrobe of my girls.  It's a time of emptying out the drawers, refolding much of what got pushed around in the search for the perfect outfit, getting things organized, and packing it into bins for storage in the attic.

As I pack the bins I try to be aware of the clothes I'm putting away for whoever might use it next.  Is it too stained to be used again?  Was it too cumbersome to get on and off?  Was it ever worn at all and why?  The changing of the seasons is a great time to purge the stuff that I know won't ever be worn again for whatever reason.  I find myself being even more aware of what I'm packing away with Evelyn's clothes now that I know that there is definitely the potential for future wear.  Luckily for Vivian, her big sister is a sloppy eater and her favorite condiment is ketchup, which stains so badly there are many shirts that have meet their untimely end one chicken nugget or French fry at a time. 

Then, I make Steve pull down the bins of Evelyn's old clothes from the attic and start the process of unpacking them.  I remember thinking that it would be so easy having a second girl.  We don't need ANYTHING I foolishly thought.  I did not factor in that they were born in completely different seasons.  So as I begin to unpack those bins I find myself one season behind.  We are entering summer, and Vivian is just entering the 6 month size.  Evelyn's 6 month clothes are winter/spring.  I suddenly understand why Carter's sells almost everything for infants in 3 piece sets... long sleeve, short sleeve, and pants.  It basically works year round.  So if I want my baby to wear nothing but a onesie for the next few months, I'm all set.  But she's a baby girl, and baby girls need to wear cute clothes!  And there is so much to choose from!  Little sundresses and rompers and things with frills!

So we get new stuff.  And with the new stuff comes the unholy chore of cutting off all of the tags.  For those of you who haven't done it in a while or who have never had the experience, here I document for you in pictures the task of cutting off the tags from new kids' clothing...



First you spend an absurdly long time in Carter's picking clothes out.  Do you want the jammies with kitties or birdies?  Long pants or shorts?  When you get home you find that you have completely by accident (I swear!) picked out things for your daughters that fall in the same theme.   

Next you start cutting tags.  And everything has a tag, and sometimes a tag and a sticker.  And the hats have little cardboard inserts to make sure they keep their shape. 

And when the clothing is for infants everything has a little plastic hook connecting it to the hanger.  Every. Single. Thing. And the little plastic hooks are also connecting every piece of clothing to the other pieces of clothing.  So a two piece set has at least two plastic hooks, a three piece set has at least three hooks, and don't even get me started on a six piece onesie set. 

 

So when you're finally finished you have a pile that looks like this.  And when you go to throw it out inevitably you drop one of those little plastic pieces on the floor.  And when they are little, you worry about your kids finding one of those pieces and putting it in her mouth.  So you get out the vacuum. 

 

Amid the pile of trash are warnings like this.  Oh great, because now on the off chance that my house catches on fire I need to be really worried about how snugly my child's jammies fit. 

 

And finally, there is the pile of new clothes.  That has now turned into a pile of clothes that need to go in the laundry.  Because that sensitive skin can't possibly wear an article of clothing that hasn't been properly washed and dried in fragrant free, sensitive skin appropriate detergent and dryer sheets. 



Making Friends

As I am looking at a full school year home, I am trying to figure out what we will do with ourselves.  The idea of being a stay at home mom for an extended period is both very exciting, and a little intimidating.  And actually, I don't like the term stay at home.  I think I'm going to start saying on the go moms because I very rarely stay at home!  Evelyn is used to being around kids regularly, and she doesn't do well at home for days in a row.  I like taking her places, but I don't really like doing things alone all the time.  It's nice having other adults and kids around to interact with.  Unfortunately, I don't know many other on the go moms. 

As a result I have been trying to meet other moms anywhere I go.  It's a little hard for me because, while I am very outgoing with people I already know, it's hard for me to take the first step toward meeting someone new.  I often think after the fact about how easy it would have been to strike up a conversation with someone I was sitting next to at the playground or smiled at in church, and potentially made a new friend.  My mom assures me that when Evelyn starts preschool in the fall I will start to make friends with the moms of the other kids in her class, but I don't want to wait that long. 

So, I have started forcing myself to be more outgoing.  I have become completely relentless in making connections with anyone I come into contact with who also have kids in Evelyn's general age range.  I have left notes in mailboxes at her daycare, I have struck up conversations with moms and babysitters at the playground, and I think I totally scared a woman in church with what I remembered about her and her family from a conversation months ago.  I have mentioned trying to make friends with a family that lives in our neighborhood so many times that every time we drive past the house Evelyn says something about making friends.  I just talked to Steve over the weekend about planning a neighborhood playdate and putting invitations in the mailboxes of any house we know that has kids. 

This weekend, my attempts were rewarded!  We met a mom and her daughter at the playground who live a few minutes away from us and we hung out there for about an hour.  I gave her my phone number and she texted me about planning to get together again.  And the woman from church?  She texted me this weekend, too, about getting together!  I'm really proud of myself, and can't wait to continue to get to know these families and meeting others! 

10 Things About Evelyn

At 2 years, 5 months there are a ton of things about Evelyn to love.  Her little personality (which actually isn't little at all...it's in fact quite large!) cracks us up daily.  I want to use this post today to document 10 thinks about Evelyn...

10. She's starting to get really into movies, especially Disney.  We have instituted Friday movie night at our house, which has really become something Steve and I look forward to.  We do early jammies, make some popcorn, and pop in a movie of Evelyn's choice.  Her current favorites: FROZEN, Tangled, Finding Nemo (which might possibly be the LONGEST. MOVIE. EVER!), Cinderella, and the newest favorite is The Lion King.  I hope this tradition continues for a long time!

9. Speaking of The Lion King, the way she sings "Hakuna Matata, it's our problem free, 'losophy" is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard. 

8. Evelyn has realized that many people nod their head when they answer yes to a question, a practice which she is trying to implement herself.  Her nod starts at her waist, though, resulting in the funniest looking upper body bob I've ever seen. 

7. You will never get to see this awesome move because she refuses to let me take a picture or video of her.  The minute I try to get out my phone to take a video or picture she instantly wants to watch Marshall videos, which is what she calls any videos on the phone because they originally all featured her cousin Marshall.  When she's doing something cute I have to go stealth mode to try to get a picture of her from the side or back. 

This is actually starting to change with the arrival of Vivian though, and she has actually started to ask for a picture to be taken of her and baby sister.  If I really want to take a picture of her I employ the fail proof tactic of...

6. Bribery.  She will do anything for a "treat."  The treat should preferably be in the form of beans (of the jelly variety) or chocolate.  And the treat must come in pairs.  "Two Mommy!"  I kind of blame her love of chocolate on Frozen, which is mentioned at least 3 times in that classic.  Steve has a different theory as to who is to blame for her love of treats, particularly the chocolate. 

This beauty cost me a handful of goldfish. 

5.  She is absolutely fearless.  She climbs up rock walls at the playground, goes for the big slide, and jumps from heights that seem just way too tall to be safe for a two year old. 

4.  She is the friendliest kid I know.  She calls out the window of the car to people passing by, walks down the paths at Longwood Gardens saying hi to everyone she sees, and when she sees other kids she wants to go over and "make friends." 

3.  Every morning she asks us if we want her to make us coffee.  She then proceeds to bring us a toy cup with a play tea bag in it.  Not sure how the connection between the tea bag and coffee started, but I'm wondering if Steve and I discuss coffee too much?  Because there are 4 cups, she also proceeds to indicate who her favorite person of the day is because she gets that fourth cup ready for someone (usually Grampy, Poppop, or Uncle Jeff). 

2.  Speaking of Grampy, Poppop, and Uncle Jeff, her favorite people are boys.  She mentions Uncle Charlie, Uncle Andy, and Uncle AJ often, too.  Every day when I pick her up from school I ask her who she played with.  (A great example of how I am totally turning into my mom, every day for my entire school career she asked me who I sat next to at lunch.  This continued through college.  I apologize in advance, Evelyn.)  She only mentions boys when she tells me who she played with.  I know the names of all the boys in her class, but really have to dig deep if you would ask me who any of the girls are.  And I'm often just guessing by pulling from some of the most common girls' names these days (anything that ends in the letter A is fair game it seems...). 

1.  She says everything three times, especially questions.  She would drive Will Ferrell's character Mustafa from Austin Powers totally crazy.  Everything she has to say is so important that it warrants being said three times.  And when she gets her little pointer finger going with what she is saying, watch out because she means business.  And after that third time, she usually punctuations what she is telling you with, oh-KAY?

So there's the top 10 things I want to remember about Evelyn at almost two and a half.  :)

Mommy's Adjustment to Two

My last post was about how Evelyn has been adjusting to being a big sister.  I figure I should also include a post about how I am adjusting to life with two, as that is the second most common question I get these days.  I actually was asked by a friend who just told me she is expecting her second.  This is my reply to her.  Now you're all trying to guess who is having a baby.  I'll never tell... 

It's funny because in many ways going from one to two has been easier than from none to one.  I guess it makes sense because you have done it once before, so you have an idea of what to expect as far as caring for a baby.  Don't get me wrong, Evelyn and Vivian are different babies, and Vivian has her own little quirks that we are working to figure out.  The basics of babies stayed the same though, and that made getting used to having two a little easier.

 I think another reason getting used to having two is easier than getting used to one is because of Vivian's delivery.  It was much easier than Evelyn's, and the recovery was faster.  I was up and moving around much quicker and when I could rest, I was actually resting comfortably.  I remember with Evelyn I was exhausted from the very beginning and stayed exhausted for a very long time.  I'm still tired this time around, but not to the extent I was with Evelyn.  With both of them I am also trying to be very good about sleeping when they're both asleep, particularly at night.  I would often stay up after Evelyn went to bed for a while, which wasn't the best idea.  Now, as soon as they are both asleep, I'm asleep. 

 What has been difficult as far as sleep is the napping.  Evelyn still takes about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, but Vivian does not.  She tends to take her nice long nap in the morning, usually in the carseat or stroller while I am running an errand or doing something with Evelyn.  I try to catch up on a little rest during Evelyn's afternoon nap, but that gets harder with a baby that doesn't want to sleep much during that time.  I will admit that in order to get a little more quiet time in the afternoon, or to make some dinner, Evelyn watches an episode of Sesame Street every day.  It's the only show she watches, so I don't feel bad about it.  (Unrelated... any parents out there who have seen Sesame Street lately, what's the deal with Abby's Flying Fairy School???  Can't stand it, and neither can Evelyn!)

The other thing about having a second that is making things a little easier is that I'm paying closer attention to any "schedule" I can find in Vivian's day.  I really didn't do that with Evelyn this early on, so it never felt like we developed any kind of schedule.  But with having a two year old, I have been forced to be more aware of any schedule there might be.  Vivian is making that a little difficult though because she hasn't developed a consistent feeding pattern yet.  I think part of this is my fault though because I tend to start feeding her, but then Evelyn needs me and I don't necessarily finish a full feeding.  As a result I feel like Vivian needs to eat all the time, which is not the best situation, but it's reality right now.

In general, adjusting to having two just happens because it has to.  There isn't time to be tired because you have to be on your A game for your older kid.  As my wise Nanny always said, "You can sleep when you're dead!"  I think she was usually implying go out and have a good time, make memories, that kind of stuff.  But it works for having kids, too.  It's making memories, right??  You just might not remember the memories in your sleep deprived state.  :) 

The Transition to Becoming a Big Sister

When you have your second baby one of the most common questions you get asked is how is the older sibling dealing with the new baby.  So, how is Evelyn dealing with the new baby?  Well, it has been a roller coaster of a month.

For the first couple of days Evelyn was interested in this new little person and asked to hold her often.  Now, when Evelyn did hold Vivian, her attention lasted about 5 seconds before she was ready to move on to something better.  She also was more interested in all of the presents that were being thrown at her pretty much every day for a few weeks. 

As to be expected, the desire to hold and be near her baby sister lasted about three days.  She suddenly was a little resentful and every once in a while came out with "Me no like baby sister!"  Of course this was immediately followed by giving the baby her own nickname: Little Cutie.  Also to be noted, Evelyn refers to herself as Big Cutie. 

After resentment and nickname giving, came the desperate need for attention from Mommy and Daddy, resulting in one melt down after another and tons of whining.  We tried to do as much one on one time with one of us as possible.  When we could Steve and I tried to do things like bed time with the three of us.  The constant melt downs and whining lasted a few weeks, but have started to decrease in the past few days. 

The tantrums could also be attributed to the fact that we have had no kind of schedule for the past few weeks as we try to adjust to being a family of four, which has resulted in bed times that change almost nightly and no real morning routines either, both of which we used to have down to a science.  Also, Evelyn went from full time daycare to two mornings a week.  As we begin to settle back into a routine and she gets used to having baby sister around, it seems that Evelyn's general mood is improving.   

 

We have also moved onto the "helper" phase of being a new big sister.  I can't change Vivian's diaper myself anymore, and when Evelyn helps she HAS to be the one to open the new diaper and pull up the tabs for me.  This results in each diaper change taking about 5 minutes, and more times than not Vivian manages to poop again before I can get the new diaper under her because I am waiting for Evelyn to pull up the tabs (and we're back to the posts about poop, how I've missed the posts about poop!)*.  She's also really good at finding a burp cloth to clean up all of the spit up.  This is probably because spit up totally freaks her out, so she wants to get rid of it as quickly as possible.  There was a projectile spit up incident the other day which actually caused Evelyn to start crying.  I tried desperately to control my laughter. 

 

Although she wants to help with everything, she also has become incredibly selfish.  Everything that is Vivian's she considers hers.  She is willing to take turns with everything, but her turns are quite a bit longer than Vivian's.  In particular she loves taking her turn on the Boppy pillow for tummy time. 

Evelyn "sharing" the play mat.

Luckily with each passing day life seems to get a little bit closer to "normal" for Evelyn, and I think she has fully accepted Vivian as a member of our family.  When Nanny asked her if Vivian should stay at their house while she goes home with Mommy and Daddy, Evelyn replied "NO! Vivian goes to our house!"

 

 

 

*Side note: Since becoming a parent, I have made up rules.  One of the newest rules since Vivian was born is "always put a diaper on the baby as soon as she gets out of the tub, even if she is screaming for food like she hasn't eaten in days."  This rule was the result of a lap full of poop immediately following a bath.  I didn't remember this until I was writing about poop.

A Morning Out

We all have those days where it just feels like nothing is going to go right.  It's just one thing after another.  Generally you deal with it and move on the next day, but when you're having one of those days with a newborn and toddler in tow, it's a little harder to just move on.

This was Evelyn's first week not being in daycare full time.  She went two mornings and was home with me the rest of the time.  Generally when she's home with me we find places to go and people to see, but with Vivian it's a little harder to just get up and go right now.  As a result, we've been at home most of the week, and Evelyn was getting a little stir crazy by yesterday.  I had signed us up for a class at the library meant for toddlers this morning, and was actually really looking forward to it.  Then I got an email yesterday saying that the class was cancelled this week.  I was really bummed because I had planned for this, and knew Evelyn needed to get out of the house.  Plus the weather was supposed to be crummy this morning, and the library would be a good place to go.  Now I faced having to find something else to do. 

I decided that we would head up to the Exton Mall playground instead.  It's an easy place to get to, and Evelyn loves running around there.  So I loaded everyone into the car and we headed to the mall.  We got there before the stores opened and headed to the playground...which was closed for cleaning.  I mean, seriously??  It's a rainy Friday morning and the playground is closed??  I wish I had counted the number of moms I passed with strollers and kids in tow just aimlessly wandering the mall.  The look on all of their faces was exactly the same.  It said, "What on earth am I going to do now??"  It was going to be a solid 20 minutes before the stores opened, so Learning Express wasn't even open with the toys out to pass some time. 

We continued to wander the mall for a few minutes until the toy store opened.  About 3 minutes after it opened Evelyn pooped and Vivian started crying because she was hungry.  I was going to let her play for a few minutes before taking her to be changed, but then I saw another mom checking her kid's diaper, and realized I couldn't wait.  The smell was just too offensive to everyone around us.  "Don't worry, it's my kid," I said to her.  I then realized I seemed like the worst parent ever for not rushing her out the minute she was poopy.  "I was just waiting a minute to make sure she was done," I continued. 

"I totally get it!  Nothing is worse than having to do a second diaper change!"  She was either the nicest person ever and was trying to make me feel better, or she was a kindred spirit. 

I hustled my kids out of the toy store and decided instead of carting them all the way across the mall to the bathroom with the changing station, I was just going to go into Sears and into a fitting room where I could change Evelyn and feed Vivian without needing to worry about having to use my hooter hider.  The whole time Evelyn was talking about the playground opening soon.  In my frustration I texted Steve.  His brilliant response was to go to the Chick Fil A for lunch and the indoor playground there.  BEST IDEA EVER!

Once I managed to get Evelyn away from the toy store and closed playground...AKA carried her out of the mall crying, we got back to the car.  I opened the car door and asked her to climb into her seat while I took care of putting Vivian in and the stroller in the trunk.  I got everything in and climbed in myself and started backing out.  "MOMMY WAIT!  Buckle seat!"  O. M. G.  Thank you God for somehow making my child understand how important it is for her carseat to be buckled.

I managed somehow to get us safely down to the Chick Fil A.  And at that moment, our day took an amazing turn.  I walked in, and suddenly people were taking care of us.  I walked up to the counter and the very patient person waited for me to get my bearings, figure out my order, and find my wallet, chatting with Evelyn the whole time.  Someone else insisted that I take the girls and go sit down and they would bring everything to us.  Would I like someone to help me carry the carseat?  Can I get you a highchair or booster seat?  I thought you might like a bendy straw for your daughter's milk.  Do you want paper placemats?  It was awesome.  I want to go back all the time because they were so incredibly nice and helpful, plus Evelyn just had a great time with the other kids on the playground.  Forget the Exton Mall, we will be going to Chick Fil A for lunch on a regular basis.

Vivian's Birth Day

I'm going to be totally honest.  I was petrified to give birth the second time.  Evelyn was NOT an easy delivery, and I was in pretty rough shape for quite a few weeks after she was born.  To the extent that I seriously contemplated one and done after her arrival.  And it's really not true what they say about you forgetting all about it after the baby comes.  But, about a year after Evelyn was born we started discussing the possibility of another baby.  I grew up with three siblings and Steve with one, and we decided we wanted Evelyn to grow up with a sibling.  I still remembered everything about Evelyn's delivery, but we were going to go for it anyway. 

So for the nine months leading up to Vivian's arrival, I was kind of obsessed with how big I was getting, what my exact due date was, and the possibility of being induced again.  I didn't want to get too big because I was sure that was the cause for the rough delivery.  I also didn't really want to be induced again.  I went for a third trimester ultra sound and everything pointed to another large baby.  The doctors I saw agreed that this was looking like a larger baby, but they didn't think it was going to be as big as Evelyn, who weighed in at 9 lbs. 4 oz.  They also assured me that all deliveries are different.  That a rough first delivery didn't mean anything when it came to the second.  I was not convinced. 

As my due date approached and passed, I prepared myself to be induced again.  And as much as I didn't want to be induced, there is something really great about knowing the end is in sight and exactly when it will happen.  I'm not generally the kind of person who needs things super planned out.  I like a surprise (we didn't find out what either of our babies were going to be), I like to be spontaneous, but when it comes to giving birth I really needed to know when it was going to happen.  Which makes no sense when I say how badly I did not want to have to be induced. 

But there we were, on March 25, heading to the hospital for my induction.  Surprisingly I slept pretty well the night before, despite being a hot mess about what was about to happen the next day.  I was absolutely petrified, even more so than the first time.  At that point I think my worries were more about what this meant for Evelyn than what I was about to go through.  We made a stop to drop her off at school, and that's when I lost it.  I wouldn't even walk in.  I gave her a kiss through the window and Steve walked her in. 

After a stop for coffee for Steve and Kelly (my personal labor and delivery nurse), and a donut for me, we arrived at the hospital.  I was still very anxious, but my favorite doctor was on call, and I knew that between her and Kelly, they would make a plan that was best for me.  Things got started, and I was surprised that I didn't start having contractions pretty quickly, as I did with Evelyn.  I was convinced nothing was happening and in my head I was now preparing for a C-section since it didn't seem like this baby was going to come at all. 

Surprisingly, I was actually dilating and after a few hours things really started moving.  My contractions started quick and I got an epidural.  Suddenly I was 10 cm dilated.  I then prepared myself for hours of pushing, which is what happened with Evelyn.  The nurse had me do a push just to see what would happen, and almost immediately told me to stop and called for the doctor.  About 4 pushes and less than five minutes later, Vivian Marie had arrived.  She was 8 lbs. 10 oz., and just a little bit longer than her big sister at 20 3/4 inches.  I was absolutely shocked!  The doctors were right...each delivery is completely different. 

Changes Are A Comin'

I've been asked a lot if Evelyn knows what's going on with the baby coming.  And if I'm being honest, I really think she knows exactly what's going on.  She really has been so sweet about all of the different baby things going on, and she says things every once in a while that make us think that she really is aware that a baby is coming. 

It started a few weeks ago with the change to a big girl bed.  We moved the crib into the baby's room and any time we are in there she points out her old crib.  We talk about how she's such a big girl now she doesn't need a crib anymore, that it's for baby.  After hearing this once or twice she said, "Evelyn share crib with baby."  And ever since then it has been baby's crib.

She has also just been so aware of me and what I need.  She tries to help me up off the floor or her bed, and just loves being helpful.  "I help, Mommy.  You okay?"  She also constantly feels my belly and gives it pats and kisses because she loves baby. 

The best moment came when Steve put the baby car seat back in the car.  When Evelyn got into the car the next day and saw the other seat there she wanted to know what it was.  When we explained that it was the car seat for the new baby she got a look of pure delight on her face.  "Baby sit next to ME?"  She was so excited that she is going to sit next to her baby.  Every time we get in the car she points out the seat and reminds me that the baby is going to sit next to her. 

Maybe I'm just looking for proof that she's going to be okay when this new baby comes, but I really think she knows what's about to happen and is at least a little bit excited about it.  I know that there's still going to be some major adjustment for her, and the rest of us, but I think she's at least as prepared as she can be.  We will know soon enough I suppose!   

A Public Service Announcement...

A week or so ago I was complaining to a friend about all of the incredibly insensitive things that people say to someone who is pregnant.  It may have been more than complaining.  I was pretty perturbed by some of the things people feel they can say.  I guess people got the word that it's not okay to touch a pregnant woman's belly anymore, so now I guess people think they can just make comments on how you look.  So, I bring to you the top 5 things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman, or at least not to me!

5. "Are you sure you aren't having twins?"  Of course I'm sure...but thanks for implying that I'm so big there must be two babies in there. 

 4. "You'll never make it to your due date!"  Again...the implication that I'm ginormous.  The only good thing about this comment is that it makes me all the more determined to get to and past my due date, despite how uncomfortable I am. 

 3. "I don't think you could get any bigger!"  Well, in fact I can get bigger.  But thanks. 

 2. "Are you as uncomfortable as you look?"  Well now that you mention it, I hadn't realized just how uncomfortable I was until you pointed it out to me. 

I thought long and hard about if I should include this last thing to never say to a pregnant woman because I don't want to offend anyone, but I consulted with my people and have been told to just go with it!

1. "You're having a boy/girl BECAUSE..."  It's not about having a guess.  It's fun to take a guess about what someone is having, and I don't mind when people tell me their guess.  It's the BECAUSE that ends up driving me nuts.  You're having a boy BECAUSE you're carrying totally different from your last pregnancy.  Seriously?!?!  It was over two years ago...I can't remember what I ate yesterday, but you remember what I looked like two years ago??  Then proceed to tell me I'm carrying all in front, which is also exactly what people told me last time.  I had some friends tell me that they were told they were having a girl BECAUSE the baby was stealing all of their beauty.  Honestly??

 
On the other hand...here are some things that are always alright to say to a pregnant lady. 

5. "You look beautiful!"  I was in Starbucks the other day and a total stranger came up to me and said that all pregnant women are just beautiful and that I looked wonderful.  Totally made my day. 

4. "Would you like a foot rub?  Or your back rubbed?"  Probably a little weird if a stranger says this, but alright if you know the person.

3. "Can I bring you some ice cream? Chocolate?  Cake?"  The answer is always yes, and don't forget the milk!

2. "You're totally rockin' those horizontal stripes!"  I'm totally scared to wear horizontal stripes at any other time than being pregnant, and I have a friend who makes it her job to point out how great they look on a pregnant woman.  :)

And the absolute best thing you can say to a pregnant woman...

1. "You're going to be a great mom!" or "Evelyn is going to be such a great big sister because you're such a great mom!"  Probably the hardest part of a first pregnancy is wondering how you're going to do once that little person comes out, and then you spend the subsequent pregnancies worrying about how your kid(s) are going to handle a new baby.  A little reassurance that it's going to be fine is exactly what a pregnant woman needs to hear!


So there you have it.  The things to NEVER say to a pregnant woman, and the things you should be saying to a pregnant woman.  I have to tell you all, I came up with five things that drive me nuts in about 5 minutes.  It took me a lot longer and I had to reach out to some friends for ideas about the positive things to say.  What did people say to you while pregnant that totally rubbed you the wrong way, or totally made your day? 

 

Changes!

Lots of changes in the Lane house these days.  We have started to prepare for baby with some room rearranging.  The first step was to tear out some seriously awful carpet in our "office" room - aka the room that holds everything that we can't find a home for.  We've been busy trying to get rid of things because a lot of the stuff in that room has been sitting there untouched since we moved in over a year ago.  With the new carpet put in, we were finally able to get the furniture moved around and now have a designated guest room and finally a room for baby.  This meant that the twin mattress that was to become Evelyn's big girl bed now needed to find its proper place in her room.

Transitioning Evelyn to a big girl bed was actually quite easy.  Ever since the mattress arrived Evelyn has been checking it out and calling it her bed, so we were fairly certain that she was interested in sleeping in her bed and didn't anticipate much trouble.  Once we got the crib out of her room, we put the mattress and box spring right on the floor so that there is little risk of falling far if she rolls out.  I had a feeling that more trouble would come from moving the rocking chair into the baby's room.  And my concern was correct when that first night Evelyn asked, "Where cuddle chair?"  Break. My. Heart!  Daddy assured her that the best part of a big girl bed was that we could read books and cuddle right there on her bed.

The first nap and night was a little rough requiring a little extra time resting with her than usual, but after that first day, it was like she'd been sleeping there from the beginning.  We put a gate up at the top of the stairs finally, totally expecting her to climb out all the time.  But for almost two weeks she has not moved from the bed when she wakes up.  She sits right there in the middle and cried or called for us to come and get her.  It actually was kind of great.  That ended this morning, when for the first time she realized that she was awake and could get out and play with toys or read books.  It bought about five more minutes of quiet for Mommy, but she soon became curious about what was going on elsewhere in the house and came looking for me.

With all of the changes taking place, we decided to have Evelyn's Special Day.  You know what I'm talking about...just like Jon and Kate and their special days with each of their 8 kids.  And to make it special for Mommy and Daddy, too, we planned to meet up with some friends at the Baltimore Aquarium.  We had a great time at the aquarium, and were all exhausted by the end of the day.  Evelyn made the day even more special for Mommy and Daddy by sleeping in her big bed until 9:00 the next morning!

Evelyn loved the turtles the best!



**I wrote this post about two weeks ago, but was having a hard time with the pictures.  Since then, Evelyn has fallen out of the bed twice.  She continues to get out of bed in the morning and sometimes after a nap, but we figured that was fine because at least she wasn't getting out at night.  As I sat here writing this, she suddenly appeared in the kitchen.  Looks like she's getting more and more comfortable with her big girl bed the longer she sleeps in it!

Daddy Can Do Anything!

This morning Evelyn looked out the window and noticed that there just isn't much snow on the ground any more.  She found the limited snow cover very unsatisfactory.  The following conversation took place:

Evelyn: Need more snow Mommy!

Me: Well the snow all is melting.

Evelyn: No, need more!

Me: Well maybe it will snow again soon and there will be more on the ground.

Evelyn: No, it's okay.  Daddy get.  Daddy get more snow.


And that was that.  The answer was simple.  Daddy was going to save the day and get more snow.  Daddies can do anything after all.

Flash forward to this evening and I picked Evelyn up at my parents' house.  I told them about Evelyn's request this morning.  As luck would have it, as we walked out to go home flakes were starting to fall.  We spent a few minutes looking at the snow falling and Grampy said, "Look Evelyn, Daddy got you more snow!"

By the time Evelyn and I got home the snow was falling just a little quicker and Evelyn was having a good time watching it fall and cover the driveway.  As we walked in the door Evelyn looked at me and said, "Good job Daddy!  Daddy listen! Daddy a good boy!"

Bested by a Two Year Old

Today I was outsmarted by my two year old for the first time.  This is what I know will be the first of countless similar occurrences.  And it really was so simple...

As we walked out of the winter concert at Evelyn's daycare today (which was quite possibly the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life!), the kids were handed little treat bags of marshmallows and chocolate chips.  The moment we were strapped in the car, Evelyn proceeded to ask for some.  After having a stomach bug earlier this week, we have been trying to stick to mild foods, but the thought of the car ride home with her begging for marshmallows wasn't very pleasant.  So I handed her a few marshmallows, hoping it would satisfy her.  Yea right.

Approximately 15 marshmallows later, she was still asking for more, but I decided enough was enough and I employed one of the oldest parent tricks in the book.  "The marshmallows are all gone!"

Without even skipping a beat she replied, "Give me bag!"  And the tone was just priceless.  It said, "Oh yea, Mom?  The marshmallows are gone?  Go ahead and prove it!"  Needless to say, she ended up with a few more marshmallows.

Get out the Energy

With being out of school for a week and the weather being a little colder, we've been inside a lot.  Ok, the colder weather comment is mostly because it's getting just a little bit difficult to zip up my coat these days.  But as a result, Evelyn has been a little rammy due to there not being as much going on as she's used to at school.  A while back I mentioned I wanted to write monthly about how we try to keep Evelyn entertained, as that has been one of the hardest things about having a toddler.  Well, this is finally going to be another post along those lines!

On New Year's Day Steve and I were both exhausted from staying up late (although not until midnight...and I have no shame in admitting it!).  Evelyn was tired, too, having partied hard with her girlfriends and not falling asleep until 11:00!

We decided to go to Longwood Gardens, where we have a membership.  We love Longwood no matter what the season.  There is plenty to do outdoors, as well as a huge indoor conservatory.  We love going on rainy weekends because no one thinks to go to a garden in the rain, and we usually have the conservatory to ourselves with nice, long pathways for Evelyn to run and skip down.  They have an indoor and outdoor childrens' garden, and a change of clothes is a must as water fountains play a big part in the childrens' areas!  If you are a parent of a toddler and live in the West Chester area, I highly recommend looking into a membership if you don't have one already.  If you don't live in the area, I would seriously suggest looking into local gardens/please touch museums/anything kid friendly and consider a membership if you know you will use it.  We go to Longwood at least once a week in the summer, and now that it's winter we still go about once a month.  It has gotten to the point that Evelyn actually asks to go.  If you decide to do a membership somewhere, I have done some pricing, and I have found that, in general, if you use your membership two or three times, you have gotten your money's worth, and many come with a few guest passes.  

So, on New Year's Day, we all got some fresh air, and Evelyn got to run out some of her energy:

And Mommy and Daddy were rewarded later when she took a nice, long nap!  Happy New Year to you all.  Thank you for reading my sporadic attempts at blogging, and stay tuned as I'm sure that come March I will have a brand new outlook on being a parent to two!