Part of the Solution

I try really hard not to make this blog about my opinions or soap box like, but every once in a while things happen and I need to share how I'm feeling.  It's unfortunate that this post is coming after another long break in my blogging, but that's just how it goes.  And I've been writing in spurts over days, so I hope it's not too jumbled!

It's been quite a week in the news.  And when there's a week like this in the news, suddenly my newsfeed blows up with memes (I think that's the right word???) with silly pictures and short phrases meant to change my opinion about something, often by mocking another idea.  There are many grand generalizations.  And then there are also the other bloggers and posters who put in their two cents, followed often by scathing comments and opinions of the readers.

In my 30-something years I have learned some very important lessons, and I am sure you've heard them all as well.  My mom and millions of other moms have said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  And I often find myself recalling the Bible verse "Let any of you without sin be the first to throw a stone."  I really feel like these two ideas go hand in hand, but in social media land are forgotten.  And while I'm talking lessons I've learned, in my three years as a parent I have learned a lot of things, but I think that the one thing that every single parent I've ever met has shared is that parenting is hard.  So why is it that it seems that everyone is so eager to belittle, blame, and ridicule other parents?  I've read some just downright mean comments about how other parents parent.  Part of me has to believe that the commenter simply must not be a parent and doesn't realize how hard it really is?

In my time as a parent there have been countless times when something really bad could have happened.  My girls as babies both fell off beds/couches.  Vivian has fallen down stairs more times than I care to admit - once in a house full of adults, none of whom realized where she was.  And you may remember when we took Evelyn to the ER for falling into a bench.  I have "lost" Evelyn at the playground when I turn to attend to Vivian for 30 seconds.  All that separated us from disaster in most of these cases was dumb luck.  This week, another parent just wasn't as lucky when their baby did what countless other babies had done in the same spot.  Another group of parents lost their grown up babies in a senseless act.  And I feel that so much of what I am viewing after these events is finger pointing.

I also learned a very important lesson from my dad as a child.  He said countless times during my childhood that we need to "be part of the solution, not the problem."  All of the blame, ridicule, one sided memes, negative comments can only fall into the category as part of the problem.  Don't get me wrong - discussion and opinions need to and should be shared, but no solution is going to be found on social media with one-sided arguments and negative comments.  I am going to do what I can to try to be part of the solution.  I am going to pay closer attention to my local and state level representatives and their views.  I am going to try to attend some of the seminars that are being presented at my church about different religions and their impact in the world.  And I'm going to do my best to try as hard as I can to be less judgmental of others and open to listening to ideas that might be different than my own.  Instead of thinking about how I would have done something different or better when I see someone who is suffering or struggling, I will try to think, how can I help pick them back up - and I'm going to try really hard to teach my kids the same.  

I really hope this doesn't come across as superior in any way.  This is just me reflecting on the state of things and trying as a person and a parent to figure out how I can be better.  And with that, I'm putting my soap box away for the time being.