Sleep Update

A while back I posted about the sleep troubles we have been having at our house.  Since then I have received two products that made a real difference in our lives, and helped put us on track for full nights of sleep.  

The first thing we got was a Zippity Zip sleep sack.  My mom saw it on Shark Tank, and said the sharks ate it up.  According to the reviews on the site, it's a must have product and solves all sleep troubles.  The basic premise is that it's a sleep sack, but it allows for less movement, particularly when babies startle in their sleep.  Vivian's sleep trouble started when we moved her to the crib and she started rolling, so it made sense that she was probably waking herself up with her movements in her sleep.  

We got our Zippity Zip and instantly Vivian's sleep pattern increased to a five hour chunk of time, and then quickly to a seven hour chunk.  This was an amazing increase from the 2-3 hours we were getting.  We then feel into a routine where she was waking at two am.  Around this time my mom also got me a great book: How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber.  Even if your child doesn't have "sleep problems", I seriously recommend getting this book.  It's very interesting to understand how a baby sleeps and the patterns of sleep they go through.  Evelyn was a good sleeper, but I still would have done things differently with her had I read this book when she was a baby.  

There was a section of the book specifically for babies with pacifiers.  And I know it sounds so stupidly simple, but basically the book said it was time to get rid of the pacifier.  By nine months most babies have outgrown the benefits of using the pacifier by the baby's ability to move around on their own.  And with one kid who's still hooked on her paci, I was okay with pulling the plug, especially if it meant we were going to get longer stretches of sleep time.  It took a few nights, but eventually she got over the pacifier and was suddenly sleeping until 4:30 or 5:00, when she would wake for a feeding. 

Reading the book I also recognized that it was time to change some of Evelyn's sleep habits.  It was time to cut her nap significantly.  She would still go three hours if we let her, but she was up until 10:30, or would go to sleep but wake up at three am and not be able to fall back asleep.  We played around with no nap at all, but she was intolerable by about five in the afternoon.  We learned through trial and error that about an hour was the right nap, and still have a bedtime of around 8:00.  I also need to make sure to wake her up by 8:00.  

Even though things are getting better, we continue to have some trouble with Vivian's sleep.  She cries for about 15-20 minutes every time it's time for sleep - both naps and night time.  It's hard to deal with, but there's really nothing to do about it because she has to go to bed!  I really think she just falls into the "light sleeper" category.  It kills me because I can't check on her at night like I love to do because  it almost always causes her to wake up, sit up, and start crying.  I dealt with the early wake up and feeding for a while, but she started getting up earlier, and was not really eating.  Add to the waking up early the fact that sleep and I aren't always on the same page, and I have trouble going back to sleep after that wake up call.  I decided it was time to sleep train that wake up out of our nights, but we also happened to put her to bed much later the other night, and she suddenly slept until 6:00.  So that's where we currently stand!  Vivian's bedtime has been moved back, and now the girls have bedtimes a little closer to each other, which actually makes life a little easier. 

And maybe, as I start to gain back some sleep, I'll have more energy for things like blogging!  :)

 

Behavior Plan

We've been having some struggles here at our house with listening.  And it's really hard for me to deal with having a child who doesn't listen.  As a teacher one of the things that I think is a relative strength for me is classroom management.  For the most part I've been pretty lucky with the students I've had, but you give me a group of 9 and 10 year olds and I feel like I do a pretty good job with behavior.  So the fact that I've been struggling with my own kid really is hard.  Now I know that kids are always better behaved for other people, but my child does need to listen to me, too!

Last summer I tried a sticker chart with Evelyn, but she really didn't understand the purpose and just wanted to pull the sticker back off as soon as she stuck it on.  Perhaps it was the wrong plan, but I let go of any plan for a while with that failure.  It wasn't until my friend The Control Freak posted an article about a behavior plan that it dawned on me that maybe it was time to try again.

I decided to employ a behavior jar to be filled with pompoms.  According to the plan, you picked a few key behaviors that needed to be changed and focused on those to be rewarded.  I decided we would have two jars, one for getting ready in the morning quickly and getting ready for bed without fussing, and the other just for general good listening since really that is our big problem.  As I said to a friend, we needed to fix the morning and evening because it just ruins both the start and end of our day!  And with the not listening in between our whole day just sucks!

From teaching I knew that the key to a good behavior plan is that the child needs to "buy in" and that requires a reward that is going to be meaningful.  Enter the Dum Dum.  Recently at the bank the teller offered a lollipop, and I said okay for the first time.  Evelyn was hooked.  Now I know that many people are not a fan of using food as a reward, and in general I am not either, but I knew it was going to work for my kid and that is what matters!

I gathered my materials and got to work...

Very quick and easy to put together!  And when Evelyn woke up from her nap I explained the Good Listener Jar and promptly started putting pompoms in.  We spent the rest of the afternoon adding pompoms for pretty much everything in order to get that jar filled fast because instant gratification is important when you're three!  

And, as with any good behavior plan, you have to be ready to make adjustments as needed.  I quickly got rid of the second jar for morning and bedtime because it is just as easy to include those times as good listening, and it helps get the jar filled up faster to only have one.  And if we're talking about filling up the jar fast, my kid quickly caught on to the fact that I had different sized pompoms and she always goes for the bigger ones when selecting what she's going to put in.  

It took about 2 days for her to get her first lollipop, and she's very close to her second.  I am getting a lot more, "Okay Mommy!" responses when she is asked to do something than I've ever known possible.  I've been able to back off a little on rewarding every little thing while still getting the desired result, which is exactly what a behavior plan is meant to do, and everyone is a little happier!  

Christmas...after the fact!

One of the most traditional holiday customs is the picture on Santa's lap.  Kind of strange when you think about it, but just one of those things you are supposed to do!  Evelyn's first Christmas came ten days after she was born, and I could barely walk, let alone think about finding a Santa to take a picture with my newborn.  So Evelyn's first picture with Santa actually came with her second Christmas.

I don't remember many of the details, other than we waited forever because we got held up that morning despite my best effort to get out of the house first thing.  But the picture turned out amazing!  

I learned my lesson waiting in the ridiculous line and the following year I looked up the times, and we were determined to be there before Santa arrived.  Unfortunately the website didn't have the times listed accurately and were at the mall about two hours early.  No one was in line, so we hit the play area for a while.  We decided to go for a cup of coffee and bathroom break about 45 minutes before Santa arrived.  Still no one in line.  Fifteen minutes later there were suddenly at least 20 people in line ahead of us.  So not only did we wait for about two hours, I then stood in line for another hour to get this gem:

And after this Steve and I heard for a full year about how "Santa is nice.  But I don't want to sit on his lap! I cry!"  She was obviously traumatized.  In fact we were walking through the mall back in early November and I was surprised to see Santa was already there.  As we walked by and Evelyn realized he was there, she latched onto my leg and I had to carry her past.  I did manage to get her to wave, but there was NO WAY she was going to get anywhere near the man.

When December rolled around, it was time to think about visiting Santa.  If I'm being perfectly honest, the picture with Santa seems to be way more important to Steve.  He always seems to be the one to bring up making the visit, which made me think he wanted to be there for it.  As we started to prepare for an early Saturday morning up and out of the house just weeks before Christmas, it was obvious we were both dreading it.  We knew Evelyn wasn't going to participate willingly, we were sure we would be waiting in line no matter what we did, and it just wasn't going to be fun.  

I proposed a different plan.  As long as it was okay with Steve not being there, I would take Vivian to meet Santa one morning when Evelyn was at school.  Hopefully during the week the lines would be minimal and there would be no drama if Evelyn wasn't there.  Steve agreed, so one Monday morning I got Vivian all dressed in the same dress her sister wore, and we headed to the mall.  

I got there about 20 minutes before Santa, and there was no one in line!  I had been in this position before, though, so I lingered near Santa's "house".  Just before 10:00 I noticed a few people in line so I entered the queue.  I was third.  Not too shabby.  We took the picture, and were back in the car by 10:17.  It was the best Santa experience ever.

Same outfit down to the shoes (minus the headband...I was so sure that Evelyn wore the headband!).  The camera person kept trying to get Vivian to look and smile, but I told her to go with the looking at Santa pose knowing it would look even more like Evelyn's picture.  And did you notice the "I love you" sign from Santa?  At first I thought it was just a fluke, but then I started seeing all these posts of other people who had the same sign in their pictures, too.  Santa really is the best!

Happy 3rd Birthday Evelyn!

My baby turned three the other day.  It's absolutely unbelievable to me that it has been three years since my spunky little girl was born.  Each day I am amazed by the person she is becoming.

I distinctly remember that when she turned one I thought there was going to be this magical change.  As if turning one were like flipping a switch between being a baby and being a little person.  Things would be easier.  She would understand what I was trying to tell her.  We would start to do things together, not just me doing things for her.  Well naturally I was very mistaken for quite a while.  Obviously her development continued to be gradual.  I kind of had the same notion of what it meant to turn two, and once again there was no instant change.

As we approached three I didn't have the same expectation.  I knew there would be no sudden change.  But a few weeks ago I did start to notice some changes in Evelyn.  All of a sudden she has been able to do things for herself.  She can put on her coat by herself.  She can play independently for ten minutes.  She pretends, and in a way that is totally adorable.  She is a brand new little person.  And her memory...oh my gosh.  She remembers everything.  And that little girl knows exactly what she wants.

But I think the very best part is how aware she is about everything that is going on.  She knows that Christmas is coming up.  She knows what her birthday means.  It was her special day.  Her favorite people were all together in one place and it was ALL. ABOUT. HER!  And I think my very favorite part was the look on her face when everyone was standing around, singing happy birthday to her, and watching her blow out her candles.  The look on her face was just absolutely priceless.  The pictures don't do it justice...

My Christmas List

It's that time of year when people start asking what you want for Christmas.  So, for anyone looking to get me (or probably any other mom) a gift, here is my Christmas list.  In no particular order...

1. I would love to go an hour without having to ask "What did you do to your sister?"

2. It would be incredible to be able to be completely alone in the bathroom for the entire time I am getting ready.  From brushing my teeth to drying my hair, I want to be completely alone.  And bonus if I have the luxury to take my time.

3. I want to clean the kitchen (I'm not even asking someone else to do it for me!) and have it still be clean when I turn around.  Where do the dishes come from???  No matter what I do, there is another dish lurking somewhere, just waiting for the right moment to show its dirty, ugly face.

4. I would like to do something seasonal as a family.  And I don't want to have to wait in line, worry about tickets ahead of time, fight for parking, etc.  Just get up and go.  And it would be great if I could get a family picture at this outing.  One where we look put together, without TRYING to look put together.  "Oh look...we just happened to all be wearing seasonal colors at the same time!!"

5. And after this wonderful, quality, family time, I would love an hour alone.  With a cup of HOT coffee.  That I didn't have to reheat.

So that's it.  Just 5 little things that would make me super happy for Christmas.

Bad Mom

Started this a few weeks ago, but let's just pretend it was this week.  I need to preface this post by saying I am not looking to be consoled.  I don't want to hear that I'm doing fine.  Because to be honest, that will probably make me feel worse about how I acted.  

On Monday I was not a good mom.  Not that I consider myself a great mom on any given day, but most days I would call myself at least a good mom.  Monday was not one of those days.

Allow me to set the scene:

We had a great day Saturday.  We went to visit my brother who lives near Reading, got some lunch, went to a corn maze.  Evelyn was a little out of sorts because she was a bit uncomfortable not having pooped since Thursday morning (for those of you who have been around this blog for a while, haven't you missed the posts about poop???).  By Sunday, though, things were pretty rough at the Lane house.  Both girls had had really bad sleep nights between the lack of poop and teeth.

When Sunday evening rolled around, poor Evelyn was a hot little mess.  It was just painful to watch her hunch over.  We had given her prune juice, lots of fruit, and anything we could find with a lot of fiber.  We had dinner at my parents' and it was a sight to see because we were all doing everything we could to try to get her to poop.  We were making up these ridiculous dances trying to get her to push things down.  And finally before bed she pooped twice.

Monday morning she pooped again...and I mean pooped!  Things were good.  She seemed to be back to normal.  Apparently she wasn't done though, because she went three more times at school.  And this mom of the year forgot the extra diapers on the counter.  Ugh.  When I picked her up I grabbed the few out of the diaper bag and left them in case I forgot again.

When we got home we had lunch and I put both girls down for a nap and hopped in the shower.  When I got up, Evelyn had decided to crawl into the crib and play with her sister.  Back to their respected beds, and things got quiet for 20 minutes.  Vivian started fussing and the next thing I knew Evelyn was slamming open her door and running in to see her sister.  Naps were not going to happen.
 
The problem is that if a nap doesn't happen, Evelyn is a hot mess.  I kept trying to get her interested in things to do, but she was just being a pill.  Let's make an octopus (I had been on Pinterest the night before...)!  Got out the paint...that lasted 3 minutes.  Let's find letters on the magnet board!  NO!  Let's pretend to be animals!  Hop like a kangaroo!  NO!  Let's read a book!  Princesses!  NO!  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?!?!?!?!  I was so mad at myself that we have been implementing a "TV Turnoff" right now because the watching has just been getting a little out of hand.  All I wanted was to put in a movie and be done with it.  

And with every game I tried to get her interested in that she just brushed aside I got more mad that she wouldn't just take a nap because obviously she needed one.  I was exhausted, she was exhausted, Vivian was exhausted, but no one was napping.  And then she was whining and yelling, so I started whining and yelling.  I was doing everything that I know I shouldn't do.

And I was watching the clock because at about 4:00 my in-laws were due to arrive.  Mommom and Poppop would fix this.  And that was almost equally frustrating because the minute they walked in the door, she would be a different child.  And she was.

She was a lovely child for Mommom, and then was even relatively normal when we went to get dinner.  And I just fumed on the inside because of the little pain in the butt she had been for me all afternoon and for the bad mom I had been in trying to deal with it.

Then she pooped again.  And I reached into the diaper bag...for the diapers that weren't there anymore.  UUUUUUGGGHHH.  It was at that moment that I washed my hands of the day.

And you know, for every day that is a mom fail, there is a mom win because the next morning Evelyn woke up and wanted to finish the octopus I had tried to get her to make with me, and we did.  And it was adorable.  And then she ripped it apart before I could take a picture.

Crying it Out

Last weekend was my sister's wedding.  And I heard from quite a few people how much they love reading about our adventures.  This I know was a really nice way of saying, start writing again you slacker!  Okay, I am sure no one thought slacker.  But it's kind of how I feel seeing as I just looked and my last post was in JULY!

A lot has happened since July.  One of the biggest, and worst, things that has happened is that my baby went from a sleeps through the night baby to a doesn't ever sleep baby.  And the only thing worse than a baby that doesn't sleep, is a baby who USED to sleep.  Maybe it was a growth spurt, maybe it was switching to sleeping in the crib, but whatever the cause, we don't sleep anymore.

At Vivian's 6 month appointment, which was exactly a month ago, the doctor basically said there was no reason for her to still be waking up every 3 hours and it was time to get tough.  We went through a "cry it out" phase with Evelyn, so I wasn't opposed to the idea.  I had been planning it myself, just hadn't really put it into effect.

So I made a plan.  That weekend we would implement cry it out.  Steve and Evelyn were both going to be away (maintaining their sleep was one of the main reasons I ran every time I heard a cry).  It was just Vivian and me.  Mommy and baby.  It was on.

I caved.  There is just something about hearing a baby cry in the middle of the night that is just impossible to ignore.

Steve got home, I got amped up to try it again.  20 minutes of crying it out.  Screaming...not just whining.  There was a problem.  The problem was a growth spurt.  When I finally went in there she ate like she had never eaten before.  And again 3 hours later.  And this went on for a few nights.  When I was finally sure that the growth spurt was over, I geared up for crying it out take two.  A night or so into round two...Vivian came down with her first cold.  I couldn't very well let her cry it out when she was already completely congested, so there we were up again every three house.  About two weeks into the "cry it out" fight, and Mommy was losing big time.

Cold cleared up.  Round three was going to be a Mommy win.  It had to be.  But suddenly instead of up every 3-4 hours, we had a night that we were barely getting 2-3.  I was beside myself.  Then I reached into her mouth the next morning (which happened to be wedding day) to pull out something she stuck in there and felt...a tooth!  I mean, come on!  Growth spurt, cold, now teeth???  This kid was using every trick in the book!

She cut two teeth that weekend, and I was thinking that was it.  It was time for a breakthrough with the sleeping.  And I was right.  She slept for 5-6 hours for the next two nights.  The only problem was that apparently she pulled her big sister into her little game, and Evelyn was up every 3-4 hours for the next few nights.

At this point, it's been a month and there is no real progress.  Last night I geared back up again for a round of crying it out.  2:00 rolled around and she started crying, then screaming.  What could she possibly need?  What could she throw at us that she hasn't pulled yet??  Poop.  A nice two am poop.  The kind that requires a complete jammie change.  And for some reason there were no wipes in her room.  The extra packs are all in Evelyn's room (why...WHY???).  

And that brings us to today.  I have no strength.  One of these days Mommy has to get a win in, right??